How To Deal With Difficult Emotions In A Relationships
During the early months of a relationship, everything may seem to be about unlimited happiness, stomachs full of butterflies, and lots and lots of sparkles. People in new relationships also tend to be sweet and show much effort with their partners. And, if one of them makes a mistake or has faults, the other person sees them but forgives them too quickly.
This so-called ‘honeymoon phase’ happens because your brain is filled with too much dopamine, otherwise known as the pleasure hormone. Every look and touch from your partner can flood you with a flush of desire. However, the ‘honeymoon phase’ or ‘romantic’ stage doesn’t last forever. After several months to a year, both of you will start settling into reality, you might get bored, and either of you will take each other for granted.
Ultimately, these changes may lead to frequent fights and miscommunications, and your relationship will be filled with difficult emotions that could make it tough for both of you to support each other. But the thing is, dealing with difficult emotions doesn’t mean you should end your relationship. There are steps to help you manage these emotions effectively and use them to strengthen your partnership and build a better and long-lasting relationship.
For your guide, here are some ways to deal with difficult emotions in a relationship:
Acknowledge Your Emotions With Acceptance
The moment you feel a heavy emotion or feeling toward your relationship, you must learn to acknowledge and accept it instead of trying to ignore it. Pushing these emotions away will only lead you to bottle them up, which could explode later and cause you to bomb everything toward your partner. So, listen to your body and the difficult emotions you’re feeling and accept them. Be aware of whether it’s anger, stress, anxiety, shame, guilt, or sadness.
If you’re having difficulty acknowledging these difficult emotions, you can consult a professional therapist or check their recommended site to book your therapy sessions. Your therapist will help you identify your feelings, especially if you get used to bottling them up. They can also help you identify the reasons behind those emotions and make you aware of what’s going on.
Talk To Your Partner
Now that you’re fully aware of your emotions and their possible reasons, this may be an ideal time to converse with your partner. One common mistake some people make in a relationship is not talking to their partner but blaming them for whatever they’re feeling without knowing the reason behind those emotions. Constant blaming can eliminate intimacy and potentially destroy your relationship. Your partner will also start avoiding you to preserve their self-worth.
That’s why going through the first step is crucial to avoid putting more complications into your relationship. When you’re aware of your emotions, it will be easier for both of you to open up about these problematic emotions without offending or hurting one another. Ultimately, the goal here is to bring up the problems or issues in your relationship without being clouded by intense emotions. Meanwhile, if you still think you’re angry or irritated to have a calm and respectful conversation with your partner, it may be better to talk to them only when you’re in the right mood.
Listen To Their Side
After you’ve talked out your feelings with your partner, you must listen to their side, too. Perhaps they’re also struggling with their own difficult emotions brought by your relationship, and you haven’t realized that they’re also dealing with their own stuff. Hence, ensure you also ask them how they feel and find out if you’ve done something that caused them to feel that way. Acknowledging and affirming their emotions will help them feel heard and understood, which in turn will improve the quality of your relationship.
On the other hand, if the tensions are high or your partner isn’t ready to open up about their emotions, don’t force them. Instead, give them time to assess their own feelings the same way you did, and wait until they’re in the mood for this type of conversation.
Analyze The Impermanence Of Your Emotions
Regardless of how intricate your emotions are, they’re not meant to be permanent. They may become intense at a certain length of time, but eventually, they’ll disappear. However, many people tend to forget this fact, which is why some couples break up amid arguments or miscommunication due to the influence of these intense emotions.
To avoid making rash decisions out of emotion, allow yourselves to analyze and observe the impermanence of your feelings. Suppose you’ve had an argument with your partner and you’re both mad or irritated at each other. Instead of breaking up or saying things that could hurt them, give yourself some space or alone time to analyze your emotions. You can ask yourself questions, such as:
- What am I feeling right now?
- Why am I feeling this?
- What do I need to do to nurture or resolve this emotion?
- What can my partner do for me?
- What can we do together to resolve these intense emotions and do acts of kindness?
Responding to these questions can help you deal with difficult emotions in a healthy way that won’t harm your relationship and, instead, promote compassion, empathy, and a better connection with your partner.
Arguments and problems are natural and part of every relationship. During these crises, you’ll also likely encounter tensions and difficult emotions that could cloud your decisions and view toward each other.
However, try not to let these temporary emotions affect you and your relationship. Through honest communication and with the help of the tips above, both of you will be able to deal with these difficult emotions healthily and manage them in a more productive way to strengthen your partnership.